New Year's Resolution

Before I go to sleep, my new year's resolutions:

1. EMOTIONAL/SPIRITUAL HEALING. It's not a destination. It's a journey. I've come a LONG way in the last year, but I still have many miles more to travel. Thanks to my family, I am still discovering parts of me that are very wounded and very broken and need to be treated deliberately and diligently. "I don't want to feel because when I feel, I feel bad" is a challenge I need to face. As safe as it is, numbness is not a solution -  I'm only hiding from my problems. My aversion to emotion, both negative and positive, stands in the way of my career, my ministry, my love life, and my relationships. It can also lead to self-destructive habits such as self-medication and addiction aimed to keep pain out of reach. On the bright side, my indifference has given me the space to think objectively about my goals and aspirations and has been a crucial part of my recovery. But that chapter must come to an end.

2. BE MORE ACTIVE AS AN ARTIST AND MINISTER BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE CHURCH WALLS. Now that I have a clearer vision of the things I want to accomplish with my life, some leaps of faith must be made. I want to be a more stunning musician and I need to practice to make that goal come to fruition. That means that practice and disciplined creativity need to be higher priorities in my life.

3. HEALTH. I need to be healthier. I feel like garbage most of the time and that's because I don't eat right. I'm gonna start learning how to incorporate more nutritious and whole foods into my diet so that I don't have to feel so gross all the time.

4. READ MORE. I should read more.

5. GET UNCOMFORTABLE. This applies to so many things that have been previously mentioned. Discomfort is a necessary ingredient and natural byproduct of every one of these pursuits. I'm gonna have some nervous jitters, disappointment, frustration, heartbreak, stress, apprehension, regret, and anger. But better that than to remain stagnant and unproductive. I want to be proud of my life and the accomplishments I've managed. There's nothing wrong with feeling down in the midst of an uphill climb.

6. LOVE GOD MORE.

7. LOVE PEOPLE MORE.