To the people picketing planned parenthood:

Why are you doing this? I mean seriously? I completely agree with you on your views on abortion and I am convinced that it is murder, just like you are. But I'm wondering why you decided that picketing was the most effective way to spend your valuable and limited time on this earth. Somehow you have convinced yourself that this is the right thing to do. I suppose that if you couldn't do that, there's no way you'd stand in the Modesto sun, on the side of Coffee Rd., holding signs condemning the act of abortion. Even if someone told you that they didn't think you should go out there and protest, you rejected their advice and went ahead with it because it's what you have decided to do. Clearly you are well associated with the concept of stubbornness. Has it occurred to you that the people against which you are picketing might share that same steadfast resolve in holding to their own principles?

How will this affect them?

Pickets are commonly associated with anger. People do not picket unless it is for a cause about which they get angry. I have yet to meet a person who doesn't know that. People who are about to get abortions know that you are angry about what they are planning to do. You are angry at them (or, at least, that is how they perceive it). Now think in your head of all the times you have wanted to join a crowd that is already angry at you. Maybe write them down if you have to. How many did you come up with? If you came up with one, you found more examples than I have in my life. I have my lapses in sanity, but I don't believe I'm alone in these instincts that lead me away from such allegiances.

People are more likely to run into the arms of others who they feel are already in their corner and validate the complex emotions that they are already feeling, which are very difficult to cope with. So between the professionals inside the building and the small angry mob outside the building, I'm sad to say that the non-judgmental atmosphere inside the office is far more inviting than the giant signs and angry yelling.

Besides, to contribute negative emotion to someone who is likely overwhelmed to the breaking point by negative emotion does not make any cause you rally appear beneficial to that person. You can be shouting about how killing chickens is bad or how Starbucks cups are destroying the environment and people who are already at a high level of emotional distress just don't have the time or energy for that shit.

Have you considered what they're already experiencing?

We are talking about people who feel trapped. It's as if they were trying to navigate their way through life and they unwittingly fell into the trap of pregnancy: a responsibility for which they were not yet prepared. These are people who are trying frantically to find an escape from a life-altering event that, for all they know, will likely thwart all of their future hopes, dreams, and aspirations. To find escape is to self-preserve. Therefore, any person hard set to prevent them from using that exit is an enemy. I know you never meant to be perceived as the enemy, but to these people, you are! And it certainly doesn't help that in their mind's eye, you see them as the enemy - of the unborn, of humanity, of even God himself.

Instead of trying to block the only exit a person in peril can find (that exit being to terminate a pregnancy), shouldn't those who are heartbroken at the thought of innocent people snuffed out at the dawn of life be the people offering a better escape from the frightening future that many will move mountains to avoid? You cannot possibly know the kind of suffering that brings those souls to the doors of that clinic. How dare you demonize them for being broken!

You cannot make me believe that anyone set in their ways can be converted by a picket sign. Has it happened to you? Did someone's protest turn you pro-life when you were at the cusp of an abortion? Did someone's painted sign radically alter your reasoning and the outcome thereof concerning the sanctity of unborn human life? The arguments painted on your signs are not new information to the pro-choice crowd. Believe me: they've heard it before and they know what you're trying to say. The truth is that they still disagree. They might not be giddy for fetal genocide, but based on the value system ingrained in their being, abortion is the least of all available evils. You cannot win someone over to your tactics when their definition of victory is entirely different from yours.

Who is this for?

I am thoroughly convinced that you do not hold those signs for the unborn babies. You hold them for you. It is for your own satisfaction and self-assurance that you picket that establishment. I'm not suggesting that you don't care about the lives at stake. I am merely pointing out that you are heartbroken yet completely powerless. You realize that the decision is not yours to make concerning the lives whom you hold with such high regard. However right you might be, you cannot change the actions of others. For whatever reason, you feel responsible to save lives as though it is your duty. You can only eradicate your guilt by doing something, however ineffective it might be; instead of doing nothing, which you know deep in your heart is sin by omission.

I suggest that you relieve yourself of this burden right now: your duty in life is not to save lives. You are commissioned to love. The hope is that lives will be saved as a result of the love you share, but we mortals can save nobody. We are powerless. Don't waste your energy trying to accomplish goals you are powerless to pursue. Regardless of the outcome, you can always love successfully. Regardless of the circumstances, love is always an option. And love doesn't mean "niceness." Love is treating people with importance -  with the mindset that they are valuable and irreplaceable: worthy to be cherished, admired, and appreciated. It is putting someone's wellness over their happiness and respecting their varied demands for both intimacy and space.

I believe that if you are truly meant to fight for the unborn, you should be willing to do something far less lazy than waving a sign on a Wednesday afternoon. Life's too short to repeatedly choose ineffective methods for the goals that you value. This might mean getting your hands dirty. This means understanding that when and how you say the truth is no less important than the message itself. It means that if you want people to listen to you, you need to earn the right to speak. And it means that you don't block bad exits: you point people to better ones.