Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Little Rule About Arguing with Me

I feel the need to establish this right now. I am a very opinionated person. Most of my opinions are very moderate. I love discussion but I have a rule.

Do not start start an argument with me unless you can explain to me exactly why I'm wrong in complete detail. If you do not have a claim that you are sure can withstand rigorous scrutiny, then, in the event that I tear your argument to shreds, be willing to admit that you're wrong. If you decide that you just want to dip from a conversation about an important topic, I will hold you accountable and I will pursue you. It's not bullying: it's holding you responsible for the fact that you are intentionally perpetuating stupidity in the world. Once you say some crazy shit in response to an intelligent post, you will get what's coming and it won't be nice.

Come prepared both to teach and learn! I don't expect everyone to like what I say and I really don't always want that. What I do want is to shed some light on truth. Don't go complaining to me if you don't like what I have to say. But please do challenge me if you think that I've missed something or that I got something wrong. I don't believe in such a concept as "losing" an argument, except if you decide to just walk away once you realize that I don't back down from a fight. You can either win the argument or you can win wisdom, which you get to keep for the rest of your life. So when I pursue you and ask you to answer for what you said, I am inviting you to win. I don't mind you proving me wrong, but you need to do some proving.

I will let you be ignorant as long as you remain silent, but once you start trying to spread that ignorance, I'm gonna have some choice words for you. If you've decided to be willfully stupid, please don't put that on my wall if you don't want me to tear every part of your comment to shreds. Be ready to back up your statements if you're gonna disagree with me because I WILL CHALLENGE THEM. I will not treat you like a stupid person; I will treat you like a smart person who is capable of having a reasonable conversation. But if you respond in a continued manner of stupidity; expect, at a certain point, to be stripped of every ounce of dignity you ever possessed. You're more transparent than you know. I have no problem hurting your feelings when I know that doing so might wake you up to some information that might save you much greater suffering down the road.

I'm not saying that I'm always going to be right. There will be many times that I'm wrong and I pray to God in Heaven that I will be corrected promptly when I say something wrong. I live by the golden rule: I won't do unto you what I would not want done to me if I was in your shoes. Be warned, if I care enough, I will choose beneficial over pleasant any day. I will carefully consider your perspective but I will not ignore my own. "Hurtful" and "hateful" are not the same thing. Consider yourself honored if I love you enough to risk you hating me in the off chance that hurting you will help you have a better life in the years to come. If you get yourself into serious trouble, I will not have it on my hands that I had the chance to warn you but passed it by because I didn't want to deal with the conflict. I am committed never to say something that is hurtful unless it is also compassionate.

Finally, being critical is not the same as being judgmental. Being judging is different than being judgmental. Being judgmental means that you make judgments on a person's value/character based on their actions. Being critical/judging means that you make judgments on the person's actions based on their actions. Just because I think you're being a total fuckface doesn't mean I forgot that Jesus loves you enough to die for you. I cannot judge character but I can judge behavior and I can tell you exactly what your behavior tells me about your character. If I truly were prejudiced enough to think that you were inescapably damned, I wouldn't have wasted my time. But if you find me making a judgmental statement to you (e.g. "I don't think you will ever quit being a stubborn, closed-minded, self-righteous asshole."), it's because I hope you will be offended and prove me wrong. Either way, I can't lose because I'll either be correct or I'll have helped you succeed in life.

All that being said, I love to converse, debate, and philosophize. I believe that exploring, challenging, and thoughtfully criticizing ideas is how we find out if they possess the integrity to be worth embracing. Let your arguments be fueled by the desire for the exposition of truth, not the preservation of belief. If your beliefs are really worth believing, they will only stand stronger the more rigorous the scrutiny becomes. If your beliefs crumble under criticism, your zealous commitment to those beliefs will be your downfall.

To correct is to love and to love is to win. To be corrected is also to win as you no longer must be fooled by the untruth you used to believe. Whether correcting or corrected, if you pay attention to sound reasoning, you can always end the day correct. But don't leave before you've gotten your chance to win.

Thank you.

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